Screaming like an ass…

So…the other night after hassling with my 16-year-old daughter over my wanting her to forego taking any more college AP (advance placement) classes, as I felt she was having a more than difficult time keeping her grade-point-average up to where we’d become accustomed (A++), and not getting the support my wife is, by marriage obligated to give (I know…an “All In The Family” utterance by an Archie Bunker look-a-like), I blew. At one point in my now-embarrassing tirade, I espied spittle cross the space between my insulting pie-hole and my wife’s arena of shock. I screamed at her that I hated her, that she was a horrible person, and – eventually stooping to a level I was not aware I could reach, in spite of having been in that area several times before in my life – that I wanted a divorce.

To make matters worse (could they be worse?), I did all this the evening before my wife and I (she having made special arrangements with my youngest son to drive 3 1/2 hours to our house to spend the weekend with my daughter so she wouldn’t be alone) were to be on a plane to Colorado Springs for a week-long, all-expenses-paid conference at a more than pose resort, given by the company with whom she works.

Needless to say, I wound up not going (my wife went on the trip alone) and spending the week alone with a daughter more than disgusted that she’s cursed with a maniac father.

The next day, after sitting up half the night nursing a Maker’s Mark on the rocks, questioning my sanity (or lack thereof) and blaming my bi-polar mother for thinking only of herself and having unprotected sex, the result being yours truly, I called my wife (can you believe she didn’t hang up on me?) and explained that, while I would not insult her intelligence by asking for forgiveness I had no right to request, that if she would stay with me, I would not only neverhave the audacity to again scream in her direction, but that I’d surprise her by my turning a leaf so new the green would dazzle.

Thankfully, in a few days, she’ll be home and I’ll get yet another opportunity to de-jerk. Thankfully.

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